And I tell you what. My life seems pretty insignificant.
I know so many people that are going through tough times right now - serious health issues, family troubles, raising kids, big discions to make.
And here I am struggling to have the right attitude about making supper, or going to birthday parties, or serving in the church. It seems so petty. *sigh*
Sometimes I just want to say, "O grow up Emily." But at the same time, I don't want to. And that's where the struggle lies...and what has been occupying my thoughts alot. I want to live my life fully for God, to be useful in His hands, to be utterly dependent on Him and not worry about little things in life. Yet there is part of me that still holds back. There is a part of me that is still so childish and selfish and unrelenting. And sometimes I just can't seem to shake it.
And I don't know why I'm rambling on here....but I am. The only thing I've concluded in this stage of my life, is how important....no, critical....it is that I stay founded on God's truth. It's okay to go through changes, and question myself and my motives, and ask myself hard questions and "what am I really doing?" But if I'm not grounded in God's promises, I will be so easily blown away.
And so, though it's been a while since I've practiced my memory verses, I realize it's really, really important right now. and I don't know what else to do, but I know I can do this.
"But the wisdom that comes from above is first of all pure, then peaceloving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.